


Firsts and Lasts

by subtextismygod



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Fluffy as hell, M/M, also a tiny bit of angst, also its super cute, but only a teaspoon, harry and draco got together in year 5, they're gay for each other dammit, this is not canon compliant folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 06:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23007130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subtextismygod/pseuds/subtextismygod
Summary: When Draco breaks up with Harry, he leaves Harry in a pit of despair. When Harry tries to cope with it all, things might change between his friends, himself, and Draco. But how much?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	Firsts and Lasts

Hogwarts was very cold at night. Especially the roof of Gryffindor Tower. Especially when your boyfriend had broken up with you a week ago and you still felt broken, lost. And you couldn’t tell anyone else because no one knew.

Because that was exactly how Harry Potter was feeling on March 19, 1997. Hiding out on the Gryffindor Tower roof with only a blanket around him for warmth. His blue fleece pajamas did nothing against the cold, and the blanket really didn’t, either. His Firebolt lay next to him, and he wished it wasn’t. Every gust of wind that rocked the wood made him look, and every look made him remember.

_ He was on his Firebolt, Draco right behind him, his arms wrapped around his stomach and his head nestled in the crook of Harry’s neck. The stars were hidden by a layer of clouds that night. Draco had squeezed Harry lightly and said: “Show me the stars, Harry Potter.”  _

_ Harry had, flying them high above the clouds so they looked like a floor of fluffy white below them. And above them was the clearest view of the stars that they had ever seen. Draco pointed to one star, blinking slightly. “That one’s Alpha Centauri. It’s actually two stars, orbiting so close to each other that they look like one.”  _

_ After a moment, Draco said something else. “It’s like us.” Then, Harry turned around and kissed him full on the lips. That had been their first kiss, on September 27, 1996.  _

The stars were out, and Harry pinpointed Alpha Centauri immediately. Saw the blinking of its light and thought about how those two stars circled each other endlessly, so close that everyone else thought they were one. How poetic. 

_ The Quidditch Pitch was so beautiful in late spring. Especially when Harry got to fly around with his hair whipping wildly in his face.The game was tied and he wanted to win, to beat Slytherin. He knew that Draco was searching the skies too, and they had promised to give their all during that game. No preferential treatment. Harry spotted the snitch, and he flew after it like the Grim was after him. He flew and flew, and he glanced over to see a blur of emerald next to him. Draco.  _

_ He reached out, his fingers almost touching the rapidly fluttering wings, and Draco mirrored his movement. But, he watched at Draco slowed his broom barely, giving Harry a window to close his hand around the snitch. _

_ That night, in the Room of Requirement, Draco snuggled in Harry’s arms, Harry asked. “Why did you let me win?” _

_ And Draco had replied in a soft, warm voice, his silver eyes meeting Harry’s green ones. He had said: “Because I love you.”  _

_ Harry echoed his words. “I love you too, Draco.” Their first ‘I love you’, on April 9, 1996. _

The memory floated away on the breeze and Harry was brought back to the present. He watched the light in Dumbledore’s study flicker softly, then go out. The last light in Hogwarts: diminished. Against his better judgment, his eyes trained on the lake, and, particularly, the Common Room beneath it. The Slytherin Common Room. For a moment, just a moment, Harry let himself wonder if Draco was reliving these moments, laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling. He wondered if Draco even cared. 

_ They were in the Room of Requirement, entirely skipping Herbology class. Draco was on the opposite side of the couch, his wand out, and was practicing their new Transfiguration spell. He flicked his wand at the rat, trying to change its fur to bright orange. It wasn’t working.  _

_ Harry rested his hand on Draco’s. “Your want movement is a little off. It’s more of a soft swish, the movement is in the fingers, not the wrist.” But Draco just tugged his hand out of Harry’s. “Draco? What’s wrong?” Harry had asked. Even he could hear the concern lacing his voice. _

_ “My mother sent a letter today. She asked about Pansy.” Oh. Pansy, whom Draco was ‘dating’ to satisfy his mothers’ desires for him to have a girlfriend. Pansy thought Draco was dating her, too. Only Harry and Draco knew that Draco’s ‘feelings’ for Pansy weren’t real. “I can’t do this anymore, Harry. All these secrets, all this hiding.” _

_ Harry’s heart had skipped a few beats. “What are you saying?” he finally asked. _

_ “I love you, Harry, I really do. But all of this… I can’t do it. We can’t happen, Harry, we never could. We were stupid to try.” Draco had looked away then, failing to hide the tears that were welling in his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but they fell down his cheeks anyway. “I’m sorry. We’re done.”  _

_ Then, he had walked away. He didn’t even look back. _

_ Harry had sat on the couch for a moment, in silence and shock. Then, he had begun to cry. Cry so hard for all those moments that had ended so abruptly. He had skipped Potions class after that, too. Because Potions was with the Slytherins. And Harry didn’t want to see Draco. See how cold Draco would act towards him.  _

_ And he had skipped dinner, too, instead opting to have Dobby pick up some food for him from the kitchen and apparate it into the Room of Requirement. The house-elf tried to have Harry tell him what had happened. Harry didn’t say anything.  _

A few tears slid down his face and he hugged his knees to his chest, trying to imagine for a moment that it was Draco that was holding him. His mind betrayed him, though, reminding him that Draco had left him. He had skipped any class that he shared with Draco, took different routes every day in an effort to avoid him as much as possible. He wasn’t sure he could even look at Draco without feeling that pang of betrayal and hurt.

There was a sound behind him, one so incredibly familiar. A broom flew up to the roof and landed, footsteps walked towards him. Harry ran through a list of who it could be. Hermione couldn’t fly a broom, so not her. Possibly Ron, but he was sound asleep in the dormitory. 

And it certainly couldn’t be Draco. Draco, who didn’t care anymore.

“Are you okay?” 

That voice— the universe loved to prove Harry wrong. He didn’t turn around. “What do you want?” he asked, not pretending to hide the sadness and anger in his voice.

“I— I want to talk.” Harry turned around then, sure his eyes were red and angry. His breath hitched slightly when he saw him, blonde-haired and silver-eyed. His pale cheeks were pink in the cold, his lips a softer pink. All in all, Draco Malfoy was doing a good job of seeming remorseful. 

“About what, Malfoy?” He knew it would hurt, calling Draco by his surname. Going back to when they hated each other. Harry didn’t care though. He was so incredibly hurt and broken that he didn’t feel any regret. “You made your feelings perfectly clear last week.” 

Draco walked closer, tentatively sitting next to Harry, at least, as close as he could be at arms-length. It took all of Harry’s self-control to not wrap his arms around him, to pull him close and share body heat. But he kept his arms wrapped tightly under his blanket, not moving at all. The simple act of doing nothing almost hurt him physically. “I guess I just wanted to explain. You deserve that, at least.”

To his dismay, Harry softened a little at the regret buried deep in Draco’s voice. He longed to reach out and take his hand, but-- “I understand. We both have reputations. I guess yours was more important than me. Than us.” 

“No, Harry,” Draco’s voice cracked and he broke. Tears waterfalled down his face and fell onto his tie, wetting the material. “I love you, I really do. And…” He drifted off, staring at his hands as more tears fell. “If you don’t hate me for this, I’d… I’d like to try. To try to let my fears go and be with you.” 

Harry sat still, partially in shock. He felt his shaking hands still and he just… did nothing. Draco had just said the words that he had been longing to hear for a week, and he didn’t do anything.

“You hate me, don’t you. Merlin’s beard, I’m sorry, Harry, I’m so bloody sorry. I have no right to plead with you but--”

Harry’s heart shattered. He lunged forward and grabbed Draco’s collar, pulled him close, and kissed him deeply. Draco’s voice was cut off in a surprised noise as he melted into Harry’s grasp, his hands going up to tangle in his mess of black hair. Harry was breathless, needy, and he poured every inch of emotion that he felt into the kiss. He kept Draco there, one hand clutching his collar and the other hooked around his neck, pulling him closer, tighter, and he finally felt like the final piece of the puzzle had, at last, clicked into place.

After what felt like both years and seconds, he pulled away, Draco’s warm breath caressing his face. “I could never hate you, Draco. Never.” 

Draco rested his forehead against Harry’s his mouth splitting into a small grin. The gesture, the… everything. It said everything that Draco needed to say. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco-- around his boyfriend-- pulling him into the warmth of his body and blanket. 

“Do you want to tell people?” Draco asked suddenly. Hurriedly, he added, “It’s fine if you’s rather not, I was just thinking that… I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

Harry was silent for a moment. Would he be willing to tell the whole Wizarding World? Would he be willing to put his reputation on the line? For Draco? Even if Harry found it impossible to hate Draco, the rest of the world found it easy. Harry had access to this hidden part of Draco, of himself, was he truly willing to share that with everyone else?

But… he was willing to put it all on the line for Draco. “Let’s do it. Let’s tell the world.” 

Draco pressed his body into Harry’s chest, the pressure so strangely welcome and comforting. “You are exceptional, Harry Potter.” 

Harry laid his head on Draco’s, the blonde hairs tickling his face. He breathed in that scent, that scent of mint and cinnamon, of a broomstick and a fire crackling. Breathed in that scent, that scent that he now realized smelled like home. 

“Dance with me,” he blurted out. “On this roof, you and me. Like it’s always been. Like it’ll always be.” 

Draco took Harry’s hand and stood. “To tonight.” Harry stood and pulled Draco closer, so that Draco instinctively put his head in the crook of Harry’s neck. Because he was that much shorter. 

“To tonight.”

They didn’t dance, per se, more… swayed, like trees in the wind.  _ No _ , Harry thought _ , like stars, circling each other endlessly. Like Alpha Centauri. _

The cold was forgotten. There was only the warmth of each other’s bodies and the warmth of their love. Their love, so pure and true, that could light up the world. 

The next morning, Draco broke up with Pansy. Didn’t explain anything, just told her that they were done with a smile on his face. Pansy didn’t make a fuss. She wasn’t a girl to do something like that. She prided herself on letting go of anyone who made her hurt or betrayed her.  _ And _ , she thought _ , now he’ll ask that idiot Potter out. He’s been pining over that boy for Merlin knows how long _ .

At breakfast, Draco met Harry outside of the Great Hall. Without a word, they just grasped hands and walked in. There were whispers, hushed conversations that quickly grew in volume. There were only three people who didn’t seem shocked. Hermione smiled softly, her eyes filled with pride. Pansy almost cheered, but she kept her composure and her hands stayed firmly folded in her lap. 

And Ron looked at Harry, then looked Draco up and down. With a wry smile, he met his best friends’ eyes. “Took you bloody long enough.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and comments, I really appreciate the feedback from you all!


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